Finals week was seriously brutal. It was perhaps the most stressful event in my life to date, and the stress of it snuck up on me, I didn't realize quite how stressed I was until it was too late. I had been studying for these finals since the day after Thanksgiving. (Well, really all semester since they're cumulative) The week before finals I was studiously looking over my notes every night, preparing flash cards and basically doing pre-study studying. Stuff like organizing notes, making flashcards, highlighting important old material, correcting old exams, stuff that doesn't actually commit any of the information into my brain, but does make it easier for me to do so. Sunday, the day before my first final on Monday I really began to hit it hard. I spent each previous day, about 10 hours worth (not exhaggurating here) preparing for the next day's impending exam. I got absolutely no house cleaning done, I only cooked supper once, my dogs don't know who I am anymore, and my husband is feeling seriously neglected.
The histology final (the first one) was the easiest exam I have taken all year. I walked out feeling confident that I probably secured my "A" in that class. The next day was physiology. After our last wreck of an exam I was pretty nervous about this test. I prepared for days and spent a TON of time and effort on it the night before. Studying for these tests is super high anxiety. You could be asked ANYTHING from the entire semester, and a semester's worth of material in vet school is equivalent to a year's worth sometimes two in undergrad. I could have studied for weeks and still not known every small detail, how to work every dilution problem or how to decipher what exactly the question was asking. As you go through your notes, or study in a group, you start to really feel the pressure. You'll see a page of notes that you don't exactly remember, or the friends you study with with ask you a question on a topic you can't even remember discussing. Your stomach starts to turn, the lights get bright, the flop sweat begins and you sit thinking to yourself "I am never gonna know all of this, there's just no way." I finally bagged it up for the night and went to bed at a decent hour (Midnight is about as decent as it gets during finals). I know that I am not one who can "pull an all nighter". Not having sleep for me is as bad as not studying. I can get as little as 5 hours and still make it, but that is my breaking point, and 5 hours was about the most I got all week long. I went in to take the exam, armed with my flashcards for last minute review and was feeling pretty confident, until he passed out the exam...the hardest exam I have ever taken in my life. I am still not sure how I could have studied for 2 weeks, really committed myself to learning, and UNDERSTANDING the information and still not have understood 45 out of 50 questions. I did my absolute best, turned in the exam and cried the whole way home. I was really starting to feel the pressure now, apparently that histology final was just a "teaser". I took a 30 minute nap tried to snap myself out of it, but I just couldn't study for immunology, my brain would not stop spinning. I decided to go for a run, something I have been neglecting all semester. After about 2 miles, my head was clear again, I felt like I could breathe and I had renewed energy to hit the books again. Tuesday is also when the nausea started. After the physiology exam I wasn't able to really eat again until Thursday. Not sure why this happened, so much stress that I wasn't paying attention to I'm sure. I just couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, I could only study and take exams...it got pretty brutal. The other two exams actually went off without a hitch. I took my immunology final, felt pretty good about it and went to start studying for my anatomy final (the big one). I think the hardest part about finals is that even when one test is over, you can't relax or even have any downtime, you just have to start studying immediately for the next one. I tried to eat again on Wednesday, but the stress of the impending anatomy final made it impossible again, damn this was really starting to suck.
In the end I did pretty well on all of my exams except physiology. (No one did though, we had the same failing average on this exam as the last one, excellent) I haven't gotten my grade back in anatomy yet but I do think that there is a (slim) possibility I pulled off my Christmas miracle and finished with an "A". That would be such a welcome surprise, as it would cancel out the "C" I got in physiology. I wish I could be more disappointed in myself for the "C", but I'm just not. The truth is I worked as hard as I knew how to get that grade. I am not failing and a "C" in vet school is pretty damn good. Most of my classmates were excited to have "C's" and I think I would be selling myself short if I didn't honor all the hard work and stress I went through to get that "C". I have a "B" in immunology, exactly what I expected, perhaps an "A" in histology and maybe just maybe Santa will bring me my "A" in anatomy. That would be 4 A's 1 B and a C...pretty sure I can live with that.
I learned some really important lessons this semester and this past week:
1. Make note cards and study aids through the whole semester and SAVE them for the final, it would've been so much easier to just pull out old note cards rather than have to make them all over again.
2. Study old exams, if it was important the first time, its probably gonna be important again
3. RUN! I need to commit myself to running again at least 3 times a week. I had forgotten just how much I love it, and what an awesome stress reliever it is. More importantly, I think it will help prevent stress before it strikes
4. Physiology is hard, and you can never know enough to be prepared for an exam
5. I need to have my own textbooks, not borrowed copies so that I feel comfortable writing and highlighting in them
6. My husband is the best ever ( I already knew this but he keeps proving it to me over and over)
7. Finals are hard and stressful, I need to be proactive about the stress next time to keep it from sneaking up and striking before it's too late
8. It feels GREAT!!!!! to be done!
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